Monday, May 07, 2007

The Deed is Done

When I was young, I went through a phase of being rather anti-marriage. I am a child of divorce, which could have been a contributing factor. I am not religious. My opinion on the matter evolved: first I swore I would never get married, then after I joined the high school chapter of Amnesty International, I revised my stance to allow that I could get married if it would help provide a Green Card to someone in need. Even later I went through another phase of not wanting to marry because I didn't want to partake in an institution that was not offered equitably. Finally I arrived at the conclusion that I might marry if I'd been with a partner for ten years or more. Those magical round numbers...

Well, SodaBoy and I have been together a long time. We started dating in March of 1997, so our ten year anniversary has come and gone. We have talked about marriage over the years, but neither of us wanted a wedding. The thought frankly horrified the both of us. So we ignored the issue all together and carried on as we wished, sharing our lives in every other way. We bought a house together last year.

This weekend we went down to the courthouse and did the deed. It just seemed senseless for SodaBoy to go on with no health insurance when we know we want to spend our lives together. I still don't really "get" the whole thing. Nothing has changed. We are the same people in the same relationship, except now he can have health insurance. It's madness really, but there it is: I've bought into the system. The man has won.

The courthouse thing was actually much more entertaining than I'd expected. We had to go through an airport-style metal detector screening to get inside. Weddings are done Saturdays at 8:30 am, and everyone just shows up at the same time. There was one couple in front of us; the groom was escorted through the prison tunnel in shackles by a squadron of heavily armed guards. The shackles were left on during the vows, and he was escorted back out immediately after kissing the bride. The judge sort of laughed at us for having no rings. With the couple behind us, the bride was a no-show. If I wasn't so eager to get to breakfast and a nap, I could have hung out and watched the proceedings all day.

10 comments:

Andy said...

That sounds awesome.

I'm rather anti-marriage myself, and a child of divorce, so I understand entirely. It is much easier to be anti-marriage when you can't even get a girl to call you back though.

Andy said...

It just occurred to me that the proper response to this post is "Congratulations" but I somehow failed to add that in the last post. So, Congratulations to SodaBoy for getting new access to health insurance.

Nadine said...

That does sound like a rather hilarious situation at the courthouse. It'll probably get even funnier in the years to come.

And Andy, too freakin' funny are you.

Not so little sister said...

Yay for health insurance!! And congratulations to you both.

Are you going to get rings?

Nicole said...

Alright, I have to say congrats, even though you may not think that this is something where congrats are in order. The timing of my marriage to Husband was all in the name of health insurance as well. I didn't want the student health insurance, so we got married so that I could be on his federal health insurance. Our rings are decidedly understated. They are comfort fit, 2mm wide, and white gold. I highly recommend this type of ring as you don't have to take it off to garden! Now come on down to my town for a celebration, I would love to take the two of you out for dinner!!!

Casey said...

Congrats, and welcome to the ranks of anti-marriage marrieds! There's nothing like a little cognitive dissonance to get you going in the morning.

Jenny F. Scientist said...

Congratulations!

I'm personally for domestic-partner benefits for all, but until then, eh.

Aliki2006 said...

Congratulations!!

Mary Stebbins Taitt said...

Biker Buddy and I basically got married for the same reason. We prolly would have married anyway, sonner or later, but it was a lot sooner with health insurance issues. Sigh. I HATE the system. Yes, domestoic partner benefits for all.

Woman Warrior said...

Wow, you sound so much like... ME!

Only if I do marry, it really will be for a green card... And oh, for love. I always forget that one, as it seems like a slightly less important reason for marriage... But don't tell the GS I said that.

So yeah, here's to health insurance and tax write-offs. Do they still do that?