Thursday, November 09, 2006

I am the Lamest

Today has been pretty meh. I vomited this morning, which is never an auspicious start, although things often improve after that, because really, they can’t get much worse. For the record, I am not sick; I am not pregnant; and it wasn’t something I ate.

I had just showered, and the water was backing up a bit in the tub. After I toweled off, I decided to actually solve the problem, so as to avoid a repeat performance with tomorrow’s shower. I really hate standing in shower water, and just forget about baths. I will never be a bath-taker. I don’t dig hot tubs, either. I might be crazy, but at least I’m consistent.

Since I could actually see something partially blocking the drain, I pulled out the drain stopper, and the attached six inches of hair and soap scum. Ugh. I know, this is a fairly normal occurrence, and not cause for alarm. But I have an overactive gag reflex, so this sort of thing can be a challenge for me. I set the whole mess down in the tub, and retrieved a plastic grocery sack. Placing the entire drain stop inside the bag, I managed to tug loose the slimy monstrosity.

Problem solved, right? Yes, that would be the case were I a normal human. No such luck. At the moment of separation, just when the mucilaginous hairball broke free from the drain stop, the bile rose in my throat. Luckily I hadn’t eaten yet, so things weren’t as unpleasant as they could have been, but I had already drank both my morning Earl Grey and a glass of orange juice. And orange juice burns on the way back up. [Is that self-pity coming through loud and clear?]

Anyway, now my pipes are clear, and the water is draining nicely. But you know what? I don’t care how evil the stuff is: next time I’m just using Draino.


Nadine said...

Oh good lord. Please do use the draino next time. Or make SodaBoy clean the drain. That's one of M's few household chores. Not that he doesn't whine about it.

BerryBird said...

Well, for minor clogs, I normally do reach for the Draino first thing, but since I could see the blockage, it just seemed like I should remove it.

At the apartment, SodaBoy usually did the tub; I did the sink and toilet and mirror and such. But now that we have his and hers bathrooms, we divide the cleaning by the bathroom.

I just think that everyone should have garbage disposals installed in their shower drains a la Kramer (in Seinfeld). That would simplify things enormously.

Mary Taitt said...

I have a pretty bad gag reflex also, but for some reason (except when I was pregnant), cleaning the drain doesn't stimulate it. When I was pregnant, my gag reflex was about a hundred times worse than normal--just sticking a toothbrush in my mouth to brush my teeth would do it for me.